bitte um korrektur -wichtig

[Malibu Stacy]

Die Aufgabe bestand darin,eine Geschichte zu Bildern zu schreiben.
(im simple past und/oder present perfekt)
Bin mir bei einigen Sätzen nicht sicher was die Zeitform angeht.
Bitte helft mir.



One week ago Mr. & Mrs. Smith went to italy to spent the vacation.
They stayed at a little cottage from Mr.Miller.He owned many paintings.

Last friday they went to the cinema,although Mr.Smith was very tiered.
They sit down and the film started.

Mr.Smith thought about the postcard,which he found at Mr.Millers cottage.
A painting was stolen one day ago.
He supposed,that the thief came with the plain,because it was raining.
He read the postcard carefully-the thief required money from Mr.Miller,that was the message.

As a result Mr.Smith went to the city to met a friend at "shark.bar".
They drank something and he told what happened yesterday.
He decided to go to the cottage again to catch the thief.
But the thief waited for him while Mr.Smith was asking for the way to the train.

With his gun he shot at Mr.Smith,he slumped to the ground.

He woke up and noticed,it was only a dream.
he still sat beside his wife.

[ingot]

One week ago, Mr. & Mrs. Smith went to Italy to spend their vacation there.
They stayed at a little cottage which belonged to Mr.Miller.He owned many paintings.

Last Friday, they went to the cinema although Mr.Smith was very tired.
They sat down and the film started.

Mr.Smith thought about the postcard which he found at Mr.Miller's cottage.
A painting had been stolen the day before.
He supposed that the thief came with the plane ( by plane ) because it was raining.
He read the postcard carefully-the thief required ( demanded -- forderte )money from Mr.Miller.That was the message.

As a result, Mr.Smith went to town to meet a friend at the "shark.bar".
They had drinks and he told what happened the day before.
He decided to go to the cottage again ( go back to ) to catch the thief.
But the thief was waiting for him while Mr.Smith was asking for the way to the train ( train station ).

With his gun he shot Mr.Smith who slumped to the ground ( "floor", if inside ).

He woke up and noticed it was only a dream.
He was still sitting next to his wife.

Hallo Malibu,

Das Komma setzt man nicht wie im Deutschen automatisch zwischen Haupt und Nebensatz. Dagegen folgt es nach Adverb oder Präpositionalausdruck am Satzanfang.

Gruß
ingot
_________________
When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[Malibu Stacy]

dankeschön

[ingot]

Hallo Malibu,

ich habe noch etwas geändert: A painting was stolen the day before > A painting had been stolen the day before.
Die Erzählung selbst findet in der Vergangenheit statt und das Gemälde wurde schon einen Tag vorher gestohlen, was genau genommen, die Vorvergangenheit ( Plusquamperfekt ) erfordert. Nun ist es aber so , dass diese Form sowohl im Deutschen wie im Englischen mehr und mehr in Vergessenheit gerät. Wenn du also bei der einfachen Vergangenheit bleiben willst, dann ginge das wohl zur Not auch.
_________________
When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[Malibu Stacy]

danke,ingot.