Englisch aufsatz

[nancy1990]

hallo ich hätte eine sehr große bitte! Ich muss bis nächstes Mittwoch ein aufsatz in englisch abgeben! ich mache mein fachabitur! Mein problem ist: ich kann echt fast kein Englisch! Deswegen wollte ich fragen ob mal jemand mein aufsatz kontrolliert ! Wäre echt voll nett! Der Aufsatz ist echt nicht gut und von der grammatik her bestimmt so gut wie gar nicht richtig, aber seht selber!!! Vielen lieben dank schon mal im Vorraus!


My practical work

I was at my practical work at a hospital in Suhl, the “ Zentralklinikum Suhl” from 23.05.09 to 26.06.09.
I was at the ophthalmic clinic. I work in two shifts, in a morning shift and in a late shift. The morning shift went from 6.00 a.m. to 2.30 p.m. and the late shift from 10.30 a.m. to 7.00 p.m.
The people were between 20-90 years old. Many old patients were blind.
At the station lie people with eye problems.
Now I describe a typical day in a morning shift. I start with work at 6.00 a.m.
We start every day with a change of shift. I became many information from the peoples at the station. Then I help old peoples to wash and measure the blood sugar. Than I give out the breakfast, I make always this task alone. When this finished is then I collect the breakfast. Then I went with a little computer at the patients room and ask the patients to the menu for the next day. This task just so long, because I must went in all the rooms. Now I measure again the blood sugar. Then I went to the kitchen and cleaned the dishes or help the nurse by little activities. Then I file documents from the patients. Now I give out the lunch and collect the lunch again. Then I wipe the tables from the patients. And then I make coffee and tea. 2.00 p.m. I give out the coffee and the tea. Now is change of shift for the late shift. I went to the nurse room and drunk my coffee. 2.30 is my working day over. This was a typical day in a morning shift.
Here are my contents for my practical training. I help the patients to wash, make coffee and tea, I give out and collect the breakfast, lunch and dinner, I clean the dishes and the patients room every day, I measure the blood sugar, file documents and accompany old patients to analysis. I make these contents alone. The nurse helps me at the all body washing by immobile peoples.
The practical work was quickly over.
This practical work was really varied and I had a wonderful time at the hospital. The nurses went friendly and helpful and the patients too.
I had many to learned and I had a great practical work.
This practical work was important for me, because I will be later work in a hospital.

[ingot]

Hallo Nancy,

und was würde deine Lehrerin dazu sagen, wenn ich ihr die Korrektur abnehme?

ingot
_________________
When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[nancy1990]

Hallo ingot,
Was meine Leherin dazu sagen würde, weiß ich nicht! Klar würde sie es bestimmt nicht gut finden, aber ich würde mich echt freuen! da ich in englisch echt eine niete bin, brauche ich darauf echt eine gute Note! Und ich weiß, wenn ich den aufsatz so abgebe bekomme ich keine gute Note!
Würde mich echt über Hilfe freuen! Habe für diesen aufsatz voll viel zeit investiert, aber besonders gut ist er nicht geworden!

nancy

[ingot]

Hallo Nancy,

ich habe nur das Gröbste korrigiert, damit sich das sprachlich einigermaßen sehen lassen kann. Der erste Teil ist im Präsens gehalten, der zweite in der Vergangenheit. Hoffentlich tust du auch einmal jemand einen Gefallen, ja?

My practical work ( internship )

I did my practical work at a hospital in Suhl, the “ Zentralklinikum Suhl”, from 5/23/09 to 6/26/09.
I was at the eye clinic. I worked in two shifts, a morning shift and a late shift. The morning shift went from 6.00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and the late shift from 10:30 a.m. to 7.00 p.m.
The people ranged from 20 to 90 years in age. Many of the older patients were blind.
The people in my ward all suffered from eye problems.
Now I will describe a typical day in a morning shift. I start work at 6.00 a.m.
We start every day with a change of shift. I am given a great deal of information from the people at the ward. Then I help old people to wash themselves and I measure their blood sugar. Then I give out breakfast, I always do this task alone. When this is finished is I collect the breakfast dishes. Then I take a little computer to the patients rooms and ask the patients to give me the menu for the next day. This task takes so long, because I must go into all the rooms. Then I measure the blood sugar again. After that I go to the kitchen and clean the dishes or help the nurse with little activities. Then I file documents of the patients. After that, I give out lunch and collect the lunch dishes again. Then I wipe the patients' tables. And then I make coffee and tea. At 2:00 p.m. I give out coffee and tea. Now the change of shift takes place and the late shift starts. I go to the nurses' room and drink my coffee. At 2:30 my work day is over. This was a typical day in a morning shift.
Here is what I did in my practical training: I helped the patients to wash, I made coffee and tea, I gave out breakfast, lunch and dinner and collected the dishes. I cleaned the dishes and the patients' rooms every day, I measured the blood sugar, filed documents and accompanied older patients to analysis. All this I did by myself. The nurse helped me with the all- body washing of immobile patients.
The practical work was over quickly.
This practical work was really varied and I had a wonderful time at the hospital. The nurses were friendly and helpful and so were the patients.
I learned a lot and my practical work was a great experience.
This practical work was important for me, because I will be working in a hospital later on.
_________________
When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.