Lustige Yankee-Bullen!

[Ronald]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country. Thank goodness, in spite of the perils of the job, they still have a sense of humor!

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey do-do.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. ' How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'

Kam gerade von Tante Edie aus St. Louis rein...
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"Es wurde alles schon mal geschrieben - nur noch nicht von mir."
(UNBEKANNTER ZEILENSCHINDER)

[ingot]

Must be city cops to come up with quips like that Our local police aren't nearly as clever, but can be very personal, such as: Hey Rudi, weren't you going a little fast just then? As it turned out, the guy had dated my daughter in earlier times, so he gave me the benefit of the doubt and let me off the hook It pays to have friends in high places. He is now our sheriff!
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When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[bouillabaisseball]

Do you already know this:
How does one get the brain of a policeman on pea size?
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[ingot]

What do you mean by "on pea size"?
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When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[bouillabaisseball]

... to the size of a pea.
I hope, that's more understandable.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[lykos]

Ist es überhaupt notwendig?
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When the final curtain drops, the only things we truly regret are the things we didn´t do.
C.Cussler

[ingot]

Oh, I see. Like the ancient theological question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin I'm not sure that question has ever been resolved to everybody's satisfaction. Let's ask the pope!
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When the final curtain drops, the applause may be less than thunderous. So what! There is no more need for bows.

[bouillabaisseball]

The answer is quite simple but surprising.
It can be done by blowing up.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.